Growth, Change, Choice

If there is one thing I’m learning about growing older, it’s that the imperative word is ‘grow’. Life is change and motion. Remain still, stagnate and die. Or accept, adapt and grow.

Sometimes change comes slowly. But looking back through the filter of an imperfect memory it feels rapid, inexorable, unforgiving. I remember, ten years ago, being the introverted thinker who couldn’t care less about what people felt or thought. Focused solely on fulfilling my Great Work of the day, I would close myself off to the world. I learned the hard way that I couldn’t do this forever, that a man has to be both independent and interdependent to succeed. Especially someone in my line of work. I could not, would not, continue to live this way — though it still has its advantages. Today there are times when I still dive deep into myself, when this attitude is not merely helpful but necessary. But I hope I’m more aware now, more able to understand the intricacies of other souls. The great paradox of being a writer is that one must be able to close off all distractions to find and craft the inner vision of the story to attain mastery of the craft — and then open up and promote the work with that same focus to attract customers.  It’s yin and yang. Balance. Finding one’s way, the right approach at the right time, is something I’m still working with.

Sometimes change comes as swift as lightning. In the course of a year, my body developed intolerance to many of my daily staples. Indigestion and anaemia was the order of the day. I lost too much weight, too much energy. Medicines, Western and Chinese, could only control symptoms to a very limited degree. And eventually, my body rejected even those, and I cycled through many alternatives to find relief. It took me a while to dig through to the root of my problems, but I’m turning things around with a better diet, a structured health regimen — and no more medicine. If anything, I’m stronger and healthier than before. I know I can be more — and I aim to be.

Change is always a choice. The world may change around you without your input, but changing in response to it is a decision. So is not changing.  The choice between being mired in entrenched habits that lead to suffering and forming new ones that lead to wellness is an obvious one — and yet a subtle one. Without willpower, one cannot follow through on a choice. Without awareness of alternatives, one cannot choose. Without being open to alternatives, one cannot be aware. When caught in the furnace of involuntary transformation, one needs to develop openness of mind, critical and creative thought, and determination. The first to understand that something is wrong, the second to find a way to transmute to a higher level of being, and the last to become. All three are choices. If one isn’t accustomed to them, that choice saps mental energy. But the more one chooses specific habits of mind, the more they become innate habits, and the more willpower one frees up — and develops. To grow, one must pick a direction and stay the course.

Ten years ago, I chose growth. I chose the path of the hermetic writer. Today, I choose growth. I choose the path of the writer, the seeker, the warrior, the human. I choose to be more than I am now, to be all I can be and more.

Life awaits, and I choose to live, fully and completely, before I die.

At All Costs

On the misnamed world of Paradise, the Republic of Eden and the Terran Federation battle over the only island that can support life. The Edenists have deployed a psychic sensor net that grants them information dominance. The Terrans reply with Viper Team, an elite squad of psychic commandos. The team is inserted into the island to wrest control of the sensors, paving the way for a ground invasion. Viper Team must not fail. Their only option is victory. At all costs.

Click here to find it on my short fiction page.

If you have an ereader, you can also find it on Smashwords and Amazon.

American Sons

(American Heirs #1)

Emerging from the ashes of a post-post-apocalyptic America, the Republic of Cascadia claims to be the sole successor of the old North American Union. Yet a hundred years after the Apocalypse, this oasis in the wastes still faces threats foreign and domestic. Cascadia’s elite Combat Studies Unit stands ever ready to defend the fledging nation.

Master Sergeant Christopher Miller is the Unit’s newest team leader. Following a mission on a hacker collective, Cascadia’s national intelligence machinery uncovers evidence of an emerging terrorist organisation, the Sons of America. And Miller has childhood links to them.

Struggling to gain the confidence of his men and partners, Miller must leverage his past and uncover the terrorist plot and prevent the coming of a second Apocalypse.

You can purchase this story directly from me here.

If you have an ereader, you can also find it on Smashwords and Amazon.

New Beginnings

It’s a new year, and it’s time to shake things up a little. I’ve changed the theme of the website and edited the content a little. Now it should be smoother to navigate and easier to read, without loss of functionality. Enjoy yourself, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.